Why do cats ask to be held? happy cat

Owners of some cats worry that their pets behave distantly, do not cuddle and do not strive for intimacy with the owner. When getting a cat as a companion, people often imagine an idyllic picture of a quiet evening with their furry pet comfortably nestled on their lap.

But some cats do not show interest in this pastime and do not like to sit on their hands. Before sounding the alarm and looking for a solution to the “problem,” it is worth understanding the reasons for this cat’s behavior.

How to properly pick up a cat

When picking up a pet, it is important to ensure its comfort and prevent injury. Don’t you see anything difficult in picking up a cat? Do you think that any method of contact is comfortable for him? Your pet disagrees with you 99% of the time. Knowing exactly how to hold a cat and how to handle it while you have it in your arms is a useful skill.

Signs your pet is ready for such contact: the cat purrs, rubs against you, is affectionate or calm, and does not show signs of fear or pain.

The cat cuddles at your feet

If these signs are present, you can move closer. Here's what the step-by-step correct way to lift and hold a cat looks like:

Step 1 . Calm the cat down. To prevent your cat from becoming nervous or frightened, approach her so that she can see you. To do this, you need to stay in her field of vision, speaking softly and affectionately to her. Approaching a cat from behind is not a good idea; the animal can become frightened and panic. Ideally, approach from a slightly sideways angle, because a head-on approach can be perceived as a threat.

Important! You shouldn't pick up outdoor cats, even if they don't seem to mind the contact. The animal may become frightened while already in your arms and scratch you severely. The exception is “familiar” street cats. Often people decide to take home a cat they like from the street. However, this is associated with everyday and psychological problems. Adaptation can take a lot of time and effort. Find out how to tame a cat in our separate article.
street cat

Step 2 . Be friendly. Even if your pet has been living with you for many years, he simply may not be in the mood for “hugs” at this very moment. Therefore, it is important to let your cat know that you want to please her. Say hello to the animal. Like his relatives. Cats often rub their faces when they meet, you can also stroke your pet on the forehead and cheeks, scratch behind the ear or on the chin. This is a kind of preparation that calms the cat and makes it clear that you intend to pick him up.

Stroking is a good way to build trust

Step 3 . Make sure that the cat also wants to be held. Does the animal move away, hiss, flatten its ears, look unhappy, try to bite or hit with its paw? You should not approach him right now; you can try later.

This guy doesn't mind hugs!

Step 4 . Place your palm under the animal's body behind the front paws, and with the other palm, grab the cat under the hind paws so that it feels securely supported. This grip seems to create a comfortable cradle for the cat.

This is how to hold a cat

Step 5. Carefully lift your pet, pressing it lightly to your chest - this will help him feel safe. Raise it so that the cat's head is “looking” up.

Black handsome man feels confident

Some cats like to put their paws on their owner's shoulders - take a closer look at your pet and determine its preferences and habits.

Important : lifting your pet head down is prohibited!

Wild cat: who is to blame?

There can be many reasons why a cat does not want to be held. First of all, of course, is the independent character of the animal itself. “Savagery” of character can be natural, or it can be provoked by upbringing. If the kitten grew up on its own, deprived of attention, joint games and intimate “conversations” with the owner, then trust will not arise between them. And then, of course, he will prefer his own favorite vacation spots to the hands of the owner.

Painful procedures that a person is forced to perform for a long time in case of illness of a cat can also greatly undermine trust in close communication with the owner. This issue should be taken seriously. “Well, just think, an injection - I injected myself and went!” - these optimistic lines calm only children, but not cats. Perhaps turning to a professional will be the best solution in this situation.

I don’t know whether it’s worthwhile in a magazine addressed to passionate cat lovers to talk about the inadmissibility of cruel and, I would add, harsh treatment of them. Shouting and punishment, including from the notorious newspaper (I have long wanted to look into the eyes of the person who invented this method and “launched” it in literally all books on training and raising animals) is a direct path to losing the animal’s trust forever.

The main thing in taming a cat is patience and love. There is not a single pet in the world that would be immune to affection if it is associated with pleasant sensations, comfort and safety. It is precisely the persistence of this association that should be sought.

How to properly hold a cat in your arms

When holding your cat close to your chest, be guided by its habits and reactions. Every pet and owner is unique, and so will your relationship. However, there are a number of universal recommendations that will help you and your cat understand each other and enjoy communication.

Hold your pet lightly against your chest, with its head and neck raised up - this is how the animal is most comfortable.
How to hold a cat
The cat should sit on one of your hands, and it is best to support it under the chest with the other hand. If she doesn’t like it that way, she will take a comfortable position herself - the main thing is not to interfere with her initiative.
Never lift your pet by the scruff of the neck! A mother cat carries her kittens this way, but this is only possible due to the small weight of the kitten. An adult animal weighs much more, so it will be painful and uncomfortable.

Important: you can only hold the cat by the scruff if you need to give it medicine or perform a procedure. But at the same time, she must have solid support under her paws. Both front paws can be held with your palm.

It is better not to handle newborn kittens at all - there is a risk of skeletal deformation. In addition, some cats are capable of abandoning their cubs due to the foreign smell.

Kittens should not be picked up too early

When not to pick up a cat:

with an unstable emotional state;

Sudden attacks of rage in previously calm and affectionate pets often put owners into a stupor, leaving them with the question of the reasons for the cardinal change in the cat’s behavior. You can read more about aggression in cats in our separate article.

while playing or hunting;
during naps and sleep;
during a fight.
Kittens are fighting

In all these cases, the animal can react unpredictably aggressively. You should also not hold the cat with its paws up - in this position it feels trapped and in danger, and is able to wriggle out, scratching your face. Wash the affected area with soap and water, then treat with a topical antibiotic. For bites or deep scratches, consult a doctor.

How to let go of a cat? Do not throw it on the floor - an unsuccessful landing may cause injury. Gently place him on his paws as soon as he begins to show signs of displeasure.

Reasons for behavior

Cats are freedom-loving and self-sufficient animals. Professional trainers know that it is almost impossible to force them to do something against their will, even force a cat to sit in your arms. Cats have different personalities from each other, just like people. Some are more affectionate, patient, friendly and capable of purring for a long time on their owner’s lap, others are strict and independent, not allowing themselves to be simply petted. British shorthair and fold-eared cats are especially susceptible to this. Often the cat chooses its own place in the apartment and, if it does not want to sit in your arms, nothing can be done, but sometimes it can be tamed.

Here are the main reasons why a cat won't sit in its owner's arms:

The kitten is constantly on the move. If something distracts his attention, he will not sit on his hands;
Pungent odor from the owner. The cat's nose is very sensitive and does not like the smell of lemon, orange, alcohol, spices, washing powder, creams and perfumes;
Memories of past grievances. If the previous owner beat the kitten, offended him, or if the cat grew up on the street and is not used to affection, he may not give in and not be handled. The cat will not sit in the arms of the person who offended him;
Some animals are so independent that they don’t like being picked up by anyone, even their beloved owner. They begin to hiss and bite in response, expressing displeasure;
The cat does not like to sit on laps because he is afraid of heights and loss of balance;
The cat doesn't like to sit in other people's arms. He can perceive and love only the owner, but not the members of his family;
A street cat does not like to sit on laps, as it is unfamiliar with tenderness and affection. Over time, he begins to shun any manifestations of tenderness;
A purebred animal. British and fold cats do not like to be handled, remaining self-sufficient and independent;
Fear. If an animal is scared, it will not be affectionate even with its owner. Cats cannot tolerate sharp sounds, screams, they can become frightened and in this state it is difficult even to simply pet them;
The cat does not like to sit in the arms of children, as they squeeze it and offend it. Even if the child has grown up and doesn’t do this anymore, the cat remembers the insult and no longer asks to be held in his arms.

A characteristic feature of all cats is independence, resentment and vindictiveness. They will never sit in the arms of a person who offended them, hit them, or drove them away. The cat will not do anything against its will, much less sit in your arms. You need to make her want to do it.

How to calm a cat in your arms

The cat that was purring while clinging to you five minutes ago suddenly became nervous? This is a common occurrence that bewilders the owners - how can it be, everything was just fine!

I loved and hated...

Animal psychologists explained this feature of cat behavior. The paradox is that the animal simultaneously likes and does not like the caresses of its owner. At the genetic level, she perceives such close contact as a sign of danger. As long as the cat can, it tolerates touching, but as soon as its patience is full and the sensation becomes unpleasant, it tries to run away, bites, scratches, and nervously licks itself.

Pay close attention to the behavior of your pet sitting in your arms. If the cat actively moves, fidgets, meows, or tries to escape, it means that it is experiencing discomfort. Under no circumstances should you hold your pet against his will, otherwise contact will become a source of fear, anxiety and uncertainty for him.

Cat aggression doesn't just happen.

What to do if a cat breaks out? Place it on the floor and let it “go crazy” - having relieved tension, the cat will relax and, perhaps, come back to be petted. If the level of aggression is too high, lock the animal in a separate room with a minimum of traumatic objects. To avoid such situations in public places, keep your cat in a carrier. You can also give your cat a sedative before the trip.

If you still have the cat in your hands, there is no carrier, and you are in a public place, go to a place where there are fewer people and other irritating factors. Allow the cat to hide its face in the crook of your elbow or the folds of your clothing. Talk to her quietly and affectionately while scratching behind the ear or stroking her cheeks. Don't shout or punish - this will only make things worse.

Warm a frozen pet

In late autumn or winter, your pet becomes cold. At low temperatures outside, the animal sleeps longer. It’s easy to understand that your pet is cold. The animal begins to climb into the warmest places in the apartment, for example, onto the radiator, computer, or kitchen hood. The owner can also turn into his favorite heating pad. To prevent a frozen cat from asking to be held in your arms, arrange a small shelter for it. Choose a closed kennel that has warm, soft material that is comfortable for the animal. For example, offer him a woolen blanket.

Take care of warm clothes for your cat. It is easy to sew or knit yourself. Please note that it should be soft and light. However, many pets do not like the presence of foreign objects on their bodies. If your cat expresses dissatisfaction by meowing or other actions, it's time to undress him. The personality of a domestic cat is a complex construct that often raises questions in humans. What this or that behavior of your pet means is difficult for even the most loving owner to recognize. Animal psychologists will find answers to all your questions. They will help you build the right relationship with your pet.

How to hand train a kitten

Teach your kitten to sit in your arms from childhood - from 4-6 weeks of age. Such early socialization will benefit the pet - it will be calmer and more trusting towards people.

How to accustom a cat to handling from “childhood”:

Reward with treats. Feed only after you pick up the kitten and stroke it. This is how a positive expectation of contact is developed and reinforced.
Iron more often. This behavior will develop in the animal an understanding: human hands, in addition to food, provide care and safety.
Pet your kitten often
Gently stroke the kitten when it sleeps, teach it to fall asleep in your arms. Your pet will associate you with protection and shelter.
You can pet a sleepy kitten. Take him in your arms and try to make him perceive you as protection and refuge.
Your kitten may be irritated by your touch. Just like an adult cat. Do not force the owl's company on him - let the animal go for a walk.
If the kitten asks to be held, do not send it away. Respond to the affection, spending at least a couple of minutes to reinforce the conditioned reflex.

The stuffed animal is in good hands

You need to lift the kitten correctly: supporting it with one palm under the stomach, the other under the butt, while the tail is gently pressed between the legs. Movements should be smooth and careful. It is better not to pick up a kitten by the scruff of the neck - only the mother cat determines a safe place with 100% probability.

Table 1. When and how to pick up a cat.

Age	How to hold a cat
0-4 weeks	It is not recommended to pick up a cat at all
4-25 weeks	support with one palm under the stomach, the other under the butt, while the tail is gently pressed between the legs
from 25 weeks	one palm under the body behind the front legs, the second supports the hind legs so that the cat feels reliable support; animal gently pressed to human chest

You can accustom an adult animal to contact with the help of unique exercises. To begin, simply slowly place your palm on the cat’s side and remove it just as slowly, then treat your pet with a treat. After a few days, place your other hand on the cat's other side, continuing to reinforce the training with treats. As soon as the cat gets used to it and is no longer afraid of the touch, begin to lightly press the sides with your palms, as if you were going to lift the pet. Repeat the exercise until the animal begins to perceive your touch as something familiar.

Psychological atmosphere

The cat will sit in your arms in a calm state and environment. Noise, loud television, screams and scandals cause him tension and he does not want to sit in anyone's arms. The cat does not like to sit in the arms of some people who smoke, who are aggressive even towards them, who abuse alcoholic beverages, or who are sloppy. It happens that she categorically does not accept a family member and this cannot be changed. You can only gradually teach a cat to sit in your arms if you treat her with care and affection, avoiding coercion, and then sooner or later she will reciprocate and affectionately.

Hello. I have the same problem (some may find it stupid). In general, I picked up a cat from the street as a kitten. The cat is good, doesn’t bite, doesn’t scratch (well, only when she’s playing, but not viciously). She is now about 8 months old. I play with her all the time, she is very active. One problem, he doesn’t want to sit in his arms at all... or rather, he only sits with his dad for some reason. He goes to bed separately (or again sometimes only with dad). I don’t understand what I did wrong)) It may be stupid to be offended by an animal, of course, but it’s offensive all the same. I'm a generally calm person. I don’t pull the cat, I don’t yell at it. It doesn't seem like it should scare her away. But when I pick her up, she immediately breaks free and jumps off. At the same time, she often follows me with her tail and calls me to play. Is it possible to somehow train her? Or can nothing be changed here, she chose my dad as the owner? Which is strange, since it’s me who “communicates” with her more. Maybe someone had the same problem.

I have one like this, not manual. She's also dumb. But such a beauty!)).

Author, you stink. What is not clear?

I have both of these)) and one is purebred (British), and the other is a foundling from the street. Both don't like to be held. They come to caress when they are in the mood. Of course, I still pick him up and squeeze him, but they endure it for no more than half a minute with great reluctance)) Don’t be upset, author. ))

author, we are in general trouble))) the cat doesn’t even allow himself to be stroked. He walks like a king - you can’t touch him. Immediately he releases his claws.

And almost all British people do not give in. They don’t scratch, they don’t bite, they push off with their paws and run away. He loves to rub against his legs and have them stroked. But they are not tame. But this is my cat. For others, he is a plush handsome man. For us, our cat has a difficult character. He doesn’t like to be picked up, likes to sleep in boots and wake up early in the morning. But at the same time he is neat, clean and only sharpens his own sharpener. I don’t understand how you can be offended by a cat.

I once rented a room from my grandmother. She had a cat. The cat was unsociable; she didn’t even allow everyone to pet her. After a few months, I became friends with the cat and was the only person who had her sit on his lap. There was also a young and playful cat. He could be attracted to anyone, he willingly played with everyone, slept, and let them pet him.

I’ve never held my Briton in my arms, and I won’t – he’ll tear a hot water bottle like an ace. As a form of great mercy, he can sit next to you. And so he apparently fancies himself a king, and we are all his servants

This is very common in cats that have not undergone socialization with people practically since birth. Especially if you picked it up after 3-4 months. Some become more or less manual, but it takes a lot of time and patience, and some do not at all. It's not about you. Well, plus character. We ourselves have such a problem now. We picked up a grown-up kitten for New Year's Eve, but couldn't give it up, hoping to give it a home. At the beginning she was tame, we fell for it, but as soon as she became bold, she didn’t give in to her hands at all, she ran away and that’s it. We can't catch it. But the house is the complete mistress, she chases our cats and beats the dog. Eats for three.

I had a British cat. Unsociable, cannot be picked up, not affectionate. Due to the child's allergies, she gave her to her brother. Against the cat’s will, he picked her up and held her as long as possible. As a result, the cat changed, began to sit on her lap, purr, but it took 2! of the year. When she lived with me, I did not try to change her character, especially since I read that the breed is so “wild”. Of course, I wanted an affectionate cat, but its plush beauty compensated for its character.

To understand and to forgive. I had a cat and a cat from the same litter. The cat hugged until he was stupefied with everyone who came into his paws, slept under a blanket, sang songs, the cat didn’t even allow petting. The cat is no longer there, the cat is 15 years old and has become more sociable with age, but she sleeps where she needs to and you can pet her, whenever their majesty desires. At night there are obligatory jumps around the apartment with wild howling.

Dasha, cats have a royal character: what they don’t want to do, they won’t! But if you want to consult with a knowledgeable person, do this: find the site “Oh, these cats!” (www.kat-cot.com) register there (it’s free) and go to the user's email under the nickname Dandrey. He has a wealth of experience in raising and re-educating cats!

There is a theme here, the girl, on the contrary, does not want to be slept with on her pillow)) she has assigned roles for you, apparently, mom feeds you, plays, dad protects)) she feels confident in him, apparently she likes his energy, cats don’t dogs choose their favorite)) You train it, there are many ways on the Internet, it will sit in your arms)))

And you force her. It will squeak and go away.

We took our very small cat. Outbred. At first she was very social, and then she began to run away, hide, and break free. Only I feed and take care of her, I also play. Nevertheless, she didn’t care about me, she comes out and rubs my legs only when she wants to eat, then leaves. She doesn’t come to sleep with me, she doesn’t jump into my arms, she never purrs, I don’t even know how she meows. It seems like there is a cat, but it seems like there isn’t. it's a shame! Just today I complained to a friend.

People! Cats are not toys! If he doesn’t want to sit, there’s no need to force him or, oh, how stupid this is, to be offended! The cat does this not out of love or dislike for you, but because she has such characteristic instincts. A cat may be anxious and skittish by nature, and sitting on you means being exposed to danger. So she runs away to where she thinks it’s safe. We had an affectionate cat - it was a miracle, and now we have a cat that is so touchable - but he is also cool in his own way. You have to love a cat just like that, for what it is, like a hamster or a fish. And you take offense at him as a person) Do you happen to be offended by the cabinets at home? You really have a lack of communication.

My friend has a British cat, not an affectionate one. He is also a bit of a coward and prefers to hang out under the closet when people come to see her. But he is as beautiful as a god.

Cat in the hands of a child

As a rule, cats react negatively when they are picked up by a child. Why? There are several reasons:

children do not know how to recognize a pet’s reactions and let him go in time;
children do not know how or are physically unable to hold a cat correctly, causing it pain and inconvenience;
children can chase the animal to catch it.

The result of such communication often becomes stress and trauma for the cat and the child. Therefore, it is important to tell your child how to interact with an animal correctly.

Vasya, you definitely don’t want to be held in your arms

Step 1 . Do not allow “unsupervised” contact between the child and the cat. Explain to the baby all the pet’s reactions, tell them how to establish contact correctly.

Step 2 . Show how to properly pick up and hold a cat in your arms. It is better not to lift a cat for a child under 5-6 years old - he simply will not be able to hold it correctly.

Step 3 . Explain how to understand that a cat is unhappy and wants to be released.

Explain to your child how to understand that the cat is unhappy

Step 4 . Show how to properly release a cat without dropping it on the floor.

Step 5 . Tell us what not to do with a cat (chase, pull the tail, catch, hold by force, hit).

Important! Teach your child not to use his hands as a toy when interacting with the cat, otherwise the animal will decide that biting and scratching is completely acceptable.